Funny Thanksgiving Clapbacks | Best Witty Hilarious Comebacks

We all know that Thanksgiving means hanging out with family. We all love our family; there’s no doubt about it. However, we don’t always get along. Usually, there is a quick-witted family member who owns the entire table. Not anymore, not with these funny Thanksgiving clapbacks.

Funny Thanksgiving clapbacks can help us put that smart-mouth uncle in his place without upsetting grandma. The holiday season is a time for family. Unfortunately, not all family members get along.

In fact, Thanksgiving is known as the holiday for arguments and frustration. We can’t pick out who a blood relative is, and usually, things are pretty decent. We can deal with the sarcasm and remarks under their breath around the dinner table.

It is a sliding scale of anger. For example, a simple remark can be annoying, but a full-on hateful remark can destroy the holidays for the whole family. This is why we need to have a Thanksgiving clapback in our back pocket.

We can use these clapbacks to make sure we let out some of our frustration and anger but in a lighter way, a way we can get away with in front of the whole family. After all, we aren’t a bunch of Twitter users at home; we are nothing but a young father, a mother, a grandmother, a grandfather, and so on.

Basically, we need respectful Thanksgiving clap backs to give us a mood boost without sacrificing the great times with family.

Funny Thanksgiving Clapbacks | Best Witty Hilarious Comebacks

Aunt: “You know tattoos are a lifetime commitment.”
Me: “Yeah, but your marriage wasn’t.”

Bringing up someone’s love life is not always a good idea. This time, however, it is a great idea. Sorry, Auntie, it looks like your best friend’s wedding was more appropriate than yours. Be sure to look her in the eye when you say this one.

Aunt: “What did you use to dry the dishes?”
Me: “Your cornbread.”

There is nothing like a last-minute clapback against your aunt who was hounding you all night about this or that. Let’s hit her where it really hurts: her cooking. Of course, this one works best if she makes the cornbread.

Mom: “Why are you wearing so much makeup?”
Me: “Why is nobody eating your potato salad?”

​Thanksgiving is a holiday about being thankful but with a focus on cooking and eating. She made a remark about your makeup; who cares if she made the potato salad or not? The point is she is uglier than you. 

Uncle: “So, how’s your love life?”
Me: “Like your hairline. Nonexistent.”

We want to use funny Thanksgiving clapbacks that are actually funny. Otherwise, we end up looking like the bad guy. Using his hairline against him is light from other perspectives but will hurt him just enough.

After all, who is he to ask about your personal life like that?

Cousin: “You still living that single life, huh?”
Me: “Your husband still on that ‘business trip,’ huh?”

Relationships come up often during family gatherings. Those who are single will need to have something ready when the lack of a plus one starts gaining too much attention. 

Sister: “How do you always have new shoes with no job?”
Me: “Why you always got a new man but no ring?”

This one is toeing the line a bit and could be too much for some people to handle. Be sure your family will laugh alongside you with this one before using it. Otherwise, it may go down as a terrible Thanksgiving.

Aunt: “Look at you always on that damn phone.”
Me: “Look at you, still living with grandma.”

These days, living at home is not a big deal, but that is why this clapback is perfect. It is something that your family member will surely be self-conscious of, but no one else at the dinner will care. It is a win/win situation. 

Uncle: “You need to raise that GPA.”
Me: “You need to raise those kids.”

Using their own words against them is a great way to get a laugh. Especially when they haven’t been the best family members at the Thanksgiving table, we can use those words and turn them around in a way that will make them think twice before coming after you.

Grandma: “Only women should wear makeup.”
Me: “Only babies should wear diapers.”

Okay, let’s slow down a second; age is a rough one. It is valid to use their age against them, but you need to be careful. A lot of people are overly self-conscious of their age. Will this make your relative cry? Maybe use a different one.

Uncle: “When are you gonna have kids?”
Me: “When are you gonna meet yours?”

These funny Thanksgiving clapbacks give us all of the ammunition we need to go to war. Of course, we are only going to Thanksgiving, not an actual war. Sometimes, we blur those lines, and the dinner table becomes a battleground.

Keep in mind you are not alone. We are all dealing with family members we only see during the holidays for a good reason.

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