Some of the Best Hilarious Smartass Quotes

What is being a smartass? Would people rather you be a dumbass? The point is it is better to be a smartass than a dumbass; we all can agree on that. But maybe you need a little help expressing those intelligent feelings. Be smart; use hilarious smartass quotes.

The most hilarious smartass quotes can help you express yourself, show people you’re smart, and get a laugh from them or just yourself. We all have feelings, and sometimes, those feelings are specific.

The stars align, the planets are in shift, Mars is in retrograde, and we just don’t care. Not that we don’t care about the people around us or the events that are happening in our lives, but what is it with Mars, and why is it always in retrograde?

The point is that letting those feelings out with a bit of sarcasm is a great solution. But people don’t always accept that sarcasm as just a little burst of emotional withdrawal.

Instead, it gets labeled as being a smartass. But we could argue that being a smartass is a good thing. In fact, did you know that precisely zero studies show that being a smartass is 100% better than being literally anything else?

The answers are out there, people, and we find them by letting ourselves be who and what we are. Want to be a musician? Learn an instrument. Do you want to be the next Cris Angel? Go to magic School and learn a spell. Want to be a smartass?

Use hilarious smartass quotes; it’s that easy. Just be warned, not everyone will welcome these quotes with open arms. These quotes are not from Corinthians 13: 4-8, and it is most likely not a wedding.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be allowed to express yourself; express freely!

Some of the Best Hilarious Smartass Quotes

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

Sarcastic people have a huge obligation, a weight on their shoulders. They must ensure people don’t get too comfortable with their stupidity. After all, we all want to be smarter, right?

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

Again, we are dealing with stupid people in these smartass quotes. They just tend to be the ones who bring out our sarcasm. Can’t help it.

You know what I like about people? Their dogs. 

There is something sarcastic people share, a dislike of people, people everywhere. We could dive into that being the cause of our chronic sarcasm. But who has the time for all of that?

A celebrity is a person who works hard all their life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Ok, this was just a little bit of smartassery that needs to be pointed out. They may reach for fame for different reasons. But no one is fooling anyone. We are all just along for the ride.

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

One thing that we sarcastic need to keep in mind is sticks and stones may break their bones, but our sarcasm helps them. Don’t be physically violent; be vocally violent.

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

Another one in the bucket for us. Feel free to use this one in business meetings, family meetings, or just meeting new people.

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Forgetting names is easy; forgetting faces is a different story. But we can work hard and train hard until we can follow through on this one.

Sarcasm- the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

There is nothing better than sarcasm that slips through as a joke. You get something off your chest, and they get a good laugh. It’s basically a win/win situation.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

“Hi, we’re just contacting you about your car insurance.” Whatever, at least someone cares about whether I am here or not.

I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.

This one is a classic. The original involves a horse, water, and the fact that you can’t force them to drink. But this one is one of the smartass quotes version.

More Quotes

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Losing Your Mind Quotes to Take the Edge Off | Losing your mind is not so bad, especially when you realize we are all in the same boat. 

Sarcastic Quotes About Work Colleagues | Is this not enough sarcasm for you? That’s okay; there’s more sarcasm for you when you’re ready.

Quotes To Stay Positive At Work | The only thing other than aging that should be considered sarcastic territory is work. 

Great Quotes when you are Feeling Sarcastic | Did we not mention that we have more sarcasm for you? Here it is, enjoy.