Most of us will have neighbors at some time or another in our life. If you are lucky enough to make it through life without ever encountering neighbors you should count yourself extremely lucky. When neighbors are rude it puts you in a really tough spot. For me, that tough spot is figuring out how I can be snarky and work out my aggression without ending up in jail.
When neighbors are rude you have to decide how to react. Sometimes a little sass can go a long way.
I can highly recommend some of these sarcastic quotes. I’d also recommend you print them, cut them out, laminate them, hang them on your fridge, and remember them so you can dole them out when necessary!
I should preface this by saying that I have mostly amazing neighbors. I grew up in this house, we moved away when I was 16 and at 20 I bought it back for myself. I’ve spent the better part of my life here and I’ve come to think of the neighbors are part of my extended family. Some of the neighbors deserve this kindness, others do not. I had to learn what to do when neighbors are rude during this past summer.
My husband and I have a pool, two large dogs, more rabbits than we can count most days, and currently we have our best friends living with us. We’re not by any means a “rowdy” crowd but we’re not exactly mice either. Apparently all consideration goes flying out the window as soon as you decide that some home renovations are in order. I don’t know what planet these people come from but holy shit, I don’t want to hear your new roof being put on at 5 am. I work at home, I want to sleep until 7:30 without being disturbed!
Now, if it was just a noisy roofer I might be inclined to suck it up and just deal for the week…NOT. Of course the roofers are also leering and creepy and very inappropriate. So much for using the pool for two weeks! Sometimes it’s hard when neighbors are rude but it’s even worse when they hire rude contractors! I’d still let it go if that was the only thing going on…NOPE wrong again. Now that the roof is done let’s build a huge freaking monstrosity of a playhouse for our children. These are the very same children who can not walk on their hollow wooden porch without STOMPING LIKE MONSTERS. I kid you not, I’ve been woken from a dead sleep by these lead-footed beasts marching themselves back and forth across the porch in the morning.
Keep on hammering, keep on stomping, blah blah blah. I know this sounds like whining but a sleep deprived person can only take so much! Now it’s starting to cool off, maybe things will calm down you say, ERRRRRR wrong-o, not happening. One fine day when you have finally decided to forgive your rude neighbors you will open the mailbox to find a citation from the borough! Gasp! What fresh hell is this?!? Bee boop booop booop boop you dial up the office and find out that not only do your rude neighbors make the worlds most annoying children and life choices, they also make phone calls about your gorgeous flowering tree.
This tree was planted 20 years ago by my now deceased father as a gift for my mother on her anniversary. It is, and has been, the pride and joy of her ENTIRE LIFE. When we moved away from this home there was talk of an expensive and absurd relocation for said tree. When the relocation was not possible we made a trip each spring, back to the house, too look at the tree and make sure it was still looking beautiful and lovely. Apparently the rude neighbors didn’t like how it was pruned so they started making daily complaints about it to the borough office. My fury knew no bounds that day. My husband locked up the garage and wouldn’t let me leave for fear I would drive my car directly into the front of their house.
Needless to say this annoying group of stomping maniacs didn’t make out too well at Halloween and there’s no love lost when their packages accidentally get delivered to our front porch. I haven’t gone so far as to retaliate directly but I may or may not have informed all of the other neighbors, who love our beautiful tree, about the incident. I do indulge in the occasional eye roll as well. Sarcasm, as always, is my go to feature when I am forced to interact with these rude neighbors as well.